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Then you know what it’s time to do: “How to be a journalist”. I’m your host Brad Pitt.
So let’s talk about Rolling Stone, also known as “shit.”
The former wet trash heap published a story claiming an Oklahoma hospital was so overwhelmed with patients overdosing on ‘horse worming medication’ that real gunshot victims were trapped outside in ambulances waiting for beds.
Meanwhile, horses full of worms had to wait outside because they weren’t wearing masks.
Now, with a story that sounds like that “on the nose” – you’d assume any competent journalist would contact hospitals before writing about it. After all, these modern facilities have telephones, fax machines, carrier pigeons, and a whole new thing called “e-mail.”
Having two or more sources, verifying information before presenting it as fact – oh, but where’s the fun in that? But no – it’s Rolling Stone, whose readership still hasn’t used its AOL free trial CDs.
It’s the “Weekend at Bernie’s” version of journalism – a dead product backed by virtue-pointing incompetents who believe instead of think. Their handwriting is so painful they should change their name to a kidney stone.
And Stephen King has nothing against that shit when it comes to fiction, especially when they’re trying to own the rubies.
The story was originally from Oklahoma’s KFOR-TV, citing a doctor. But then the Northeast Hospital System denied that any patients had been treated for OD and that this doctor hadn’t actually worked at one of the hospitals in question for months.
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I haven’t seen such strong denial since Elton John married a woman.
Thus, there have been absolutely no ivermectin-related overdoses – and no patients have been turned away due to an overload of such cases.
OK, but other than those small details, the story went well. At first, Rolling Stone kept pushing the story. Then it ran an update, no retraction. Then, when it got too big to bury, they made a humiliating correction.
But not before a bunch of liberal mainstream media figures embraced their shit, spreading it on the web. Rachel Maddow tweeted about it. And Joy Reid – who apparently still has a job – promoted the story on her show.
Joy Reid, Friday: “An emergency room in a rural Oklahoma town is overwhelmed with people overdosing on ivermectin, the deworming drug for horses. It’s gotten so bad that gunshot victims have to wait until be processed.”
Great job there, Joy. But maybe it’s time for MSNBC to be treated for worms. After all, how many times have their hosts looked like the buttocks of a horse?
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Drew Holden has compiled a list of suckers who have bought into this story – from Business Insider to The Guardian. Stupid dupes like The Daily Beast’s Justin Baragona and Roland Martin, who can’t tell his elbow from his ascot. There was an MSNBC producer and so on. These idiots get it wrong more often than Biden trying to button his shirt.
So what’s the lesson here?
Well, the fake story took off without anyone within this media bubble applying the brakes. Instead, they put both feet on the accelerator pedal. Why is that?
Well, first of all, the media is not our best and brightest people. Current society excluded of course. Hell, you’d find better and smarter people in the front row of a midnight cockfight in Guam.
Especially those whose only content is clickbait designed to make their left-wing consumers feel superior. And that’s what this story did. He gave their “patients” a dose of “stupid redneck therapy”. Something to talk about while Sunshine the barista screws up your latte.
And it’s not the first for Rolling Stone.
They were responsible for one of the most damaging hoaxes of all time – an article titled “A Rape on Campus”, which described a gang rape at the University of Virginia – a crime that never happened.
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They happily ran with it, even though the report had bigger holes than Hunter Biden’s septum.
They later retracted the story – you know, after the defendants’ lives were ruined forever, UVA’s reputation was badly tarnished, and American colleges went into total panic due to an outbreak of imaginary campus rapes.
You’d think they’d learn – but to learn, you’d have to suffer unpleasant consequences. Meanwhile, Rolling Stone just got a new all-round editor, the Daily Beast. It’s like hiring your babysitter on death row.
It’s a disappointment. I grew up idolizing Rolling Stone. When The Clash or Cheap Trick hit the cover, it validated my life — because those were my bands. I tolerated the leftism of the commies of their publishers, because I loved the music.
Now it’s a mess. Rolling Stone is to journalism what throwing up into an air conditioner is to fixing an air conditioner.
But maybe they’ve always sucked and I didn’t know it.
After all, Rolling Stone magazine reviewed Led Zeppelin’s first two albums, Jimi Hendrix’s debut album, Black Sabbath’s debut album, Nirvana’s Nevermind, Neil Young’s Harvest, The Rolling Stones’ Exiles on Main Street – should I continue?
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Why isn’t this magazine locked up in Gitmo where it belongs? But maybe they should stop making music altogether and stick to the political ownership of the rubes.
Here are some covers – Transgender Raccoon Families: Rabies or Rabies? Why white people should never be trusted (except for us because we love Tracy Chapman). 800-pound man dies in hot dog eating contest – suspected COVID. Top 500 songs of all time. Number one: My Humps by Black-Eyed Peas. Actor Tom Hanks has temporarily passed away. Why aren’t they called African-American Sabbath? Dewey defeats Truman.
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Accept it, Rolling Stone. Because your past role as a respected music magazine is over.
You may be a Rolling Stone, but your grave has been gathering moss for years.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the September 7, 2021, edition of “Gutfeld!”